flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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