she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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