He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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