he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
