literally had 100 drinks last night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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