We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
