I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Enjoy the penises
how drunk are you?
Several
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
