i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
