help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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