i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
