Sorry, I don't speak sober.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
