What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
