so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize