i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize