You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize