I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
