you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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