shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
