I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
