My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
