Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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