The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
