I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
