u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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