I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm too high and old for this...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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