i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
