So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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