I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
