fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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