A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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