we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
