I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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