Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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