Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
