So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
