you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
