"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
