I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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