wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
