the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
