Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
