she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
