vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
