My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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