Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.