I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.