im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...