I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.