I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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