so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
