I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
