He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
