I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
