I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And then my night got REAL pukey
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
