Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Who died my cat blue again?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
