Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
