why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
