i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
