I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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