if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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