another moral hangover. fuck.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
