Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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